Well, actually, cocktail time. I'm sure most of you have heard of a Black Velvet: a mix of guiness and champagne. Well, this is what is probably best defined as the complete opposite of that. It was concocted one very drunk summer afternoon in Bangor, North Wales, in 1989.
One bottle Newcastle Brown Ale
One bottle pomagne, or any other very cheap fizzy wine.
With hungover, trembling hands, pour ingredients in equal measure into pint glasses. Mix with a heavily nicotine stained finger. Light a fag and feel the headache throb behind the eyes. Take a swig, then start cursing and swearing at the utterly foul taste. After this, you will be able to drink anything. Umbrella and cherry are optional.