Crap joke for the day........
John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten, decided that it was time to give his house a makeover. He pondered who to get in to do it, then contacted tv house pundit Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen. The dandy one arrived at the house the next day, dressed in leather trousers and lilac ruffed shirt, and began to enthuse about all the wonderful things he would do to transform it.
'Yeah, whatever, mate', snarled Mr. Rotten. 'Just don't do no lurid colours, right? I HATE lurid!'
John then went off for a well-deserved Sex Pistols reunion tour for a week, seeing the sights of such fabulous places as the Frinton tea rooms, The Guildford Corn exchange and Butlin's in Rhyl. On his return, Laurence stood beaming outside the transformed shack.
'I think you'll just LOVE what I've done!' he cooed, mincing into the hallway and ushering John in. 'Look!'
John stared around him in utter disbelief. The floor, the walls, the ceilings, all were painted a lurid pink-purple shade.
He grabbed Laurence by his florid lapels, then headbutted him.
'What did I tell you, mate, eh?', he screamed. 'No Fuschia! NO FUSCHIA! Nooooooooo Fuschia for meeee!'