No joy here. None at all. I am utterly at the end of my tether. I ahve worked and worked and worked, and still I'm going nowhere. For the last ten years, I have been a teacher, helping others to get on with their lives, and what for? Nothing. I am utterly destitute. I don't have a penny to my name. I owe money to the bank, to credit cards, to the loan company, to every other bastard who has hounded me for money for the last three years, all because I need to support my wife and son. I can't even afford to feed them this week. It's my wedding anniversary next week, but no money even for a card.

The only conclusion I can reach is that I must reach my own conclusion. My wife and son would be better off If I died. Of natural causes, of course.